Mental Health and the Willingness to Push Forward Feat: Oscar Crosthwaite

Dustin Steffey: 0:00

Hey chop nation Dustin Steffey here. Are you tired of the same old boring gym routine that has yielded no results? If so, look no further because Inferno performance is your one stop shop to transform your body, health, life and overall well being. With multiple locations in the Phoenix area. There is no better time than now to drop in and see what Inferno performance has to offer to their clients. Inferno performance is owned and operated by retired NFL linebacker, Dante Mo, who offers personalized coaching to help anyone reach their goals. This gym truly is a one stop shop offering supplements, meal plans, apparel, and custom training at affordable pricing. If you haven't done so already, please drop it into one of the multiple locations and check them out.

Jaden Norvell: 0:51

This is the best stop for entrepreneurship and self development talk hosted by the doctor himself Dr. Dustin Steffey co hosted by entrepreneur and sports talk host Jayden rush, Norville. This is chock.

Dustin Steffey: 1:29

Welcome to another episode of chopping wood fire today, you're joined by Dustin Steffey unfortunately, Jaden actually took a vacation. So I'm gonna have to do this on my own. But I'm not on my own. I actually have one of my close friends here. We're going to talk about mental health. I have Oscar with me today. Yeah. How are you today, buddy? Pretty good. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, for those of you that can't see him, he has some liquid courage of Pendleton. So, America. Anyway, I don't know, caught up on a couple of episodes that we've done so far. But we're two episodes into mental health, trading. And I decided to go down the mental health around route a little bit because we feel like the topics widely just use there's so much to it. It's neglected. A lot of people really, I think so. And it does tie in to self development, which is why you're here because I think your journey, like knowing who you are, knowing what you've been through man, like your journey has taught you to who you are now. And I think it's important for people to really get a feel for like, someone who's been through a lot and has made it out on the other side of the tunnel.

Unknown: 2:45

You know what I mean? Yeah.

Dustin Steffey: 2:51

So his, his life is not the easiest, but I'm telling you now the person that he is today is I mean, 100%. Like, I wouldn't have any other friend backing at any point in time. He, he would fly through a bullet for me just as much as I would for him. He's, he's been through a lot. And it's, it's important for everybody to be able to relate with someone that is normal. We've had dinners on we've had doctors all this, but what about what about a real person? Whatever norm whatever the definition norm was? Oh, man, I mean, you can ask we could pull with it from people about what their definition of normal is, and I'm pretty certain we'd have 50 different answers. Nowadays, normal is what $6 A gallon gas. Ah, should I remember when gas was a buck? that dates me? Yeah, right before I started driving when I started driving gas was like a buck. A buck.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 3:54

99 Guess what?

Dustin Steffey: 3:55

99 Yeah. I wish it was back to that.

Unknown: 3:59

And then at that time, I was like, I had to add that before.

Dustin Steffey: 4:03

Oh, man, you're going to hell a gas mileage.

Unknown: 4:07

Yeah, I thought I could grow with that.

Dustin Steffey: 4:10

Shit. Now people like this is going to be a weird summer. I think Buddy, honestly, because gas is going up. Wages are staying the same keyboard are either going to stay in because they can't afford to travel right? Or they're going to, I don't know, turn to something different. This one mental health is so important. Like,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 4:29

a lot of people are used to a certain lifestyle, right? Obviously, it's gonna switch up. I agree they're gonna have to switch over, they're gonna have to adapt and get used to, you know, that trip they would take out to the yellow center here. They're not they're gonna have to they're not going to be able to go this year, and that's probably going to correct you know what I mean, kind of affect that, but

Dustin Steffey: 4:51

Well, I think the other issue that we're gonna run into if I'm being frank with you, is the fact that we have all these service jobs, right. So we're talking like McDonald's gas stations, whatever that are paying the bare minimum, or if not a tiny bit more than the bare minimum. So their paycheck essentially right now is going into their gas tank for them to go to work.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 5:13

And it's, it's not so because supposedly the you know for was that like the minimum wage, they bumped it up and then they bumped it up and now this shit happens and it's like, you know it was a whole point.

Dustin Steffey: 5:27

But you and I are intelligent watch this. They bump up the minimum wage. How do you think they're gonna pay for that bump by inflating what? So for these gas stations, your gas is inflated already. fluids, groceries have gone out rent rate is going up? Where are wages,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 5:49

which is funny because they're like, oh, yeah, you know, the inflation is paying us hard. So we're gonna have to raise the rents like, how the fuck is inflation? hurting you for rent or affecting you for rent? Right? Rate is a guarantee of electricity, not the owners of the apartment, right? It's

Dustin Steffey: 6:09

no southwest.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 6:12

That's yeah, yeah, I'm gonna just say so why how's that affecting you? Are you raising rent especially now when people are like barely affording they're raising

Dustin Steffey: 6:21

the rent because they can dictate it because of inflation. So like where I live for so you and are two perfect examples. So where you live, but rather because we're in Elko right now? Yeah, we have all the miners and stuff sucks about here. And so with the miners, everybody thinks that miners make all this money, which there are miners that make really good money. Why in the same token, it doesn't mean

Oscar Crosthwaite: 6:45

extort them. Yeah. And it's fucked up. Because that's the whole reason they do. That's the Yeah, that's the reason brother like they work at the mines. Right? Why 80% or some number like that is what people that people that work at the miser and elbow so yeah, you know, to me, it's like, of course, you're gonna get away with that shit. Yeah, they can. Yeah. But uh,

Dustin Steffey: 7:09

and then where I live, watch this. And I told you this story, and you agreed with it. So I don't have the minors where I live. But I have the Tesla Gigafactory. That's 15 minutes away. And so because of where I live, and because it's so close to Tesla,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 7:24

where's the Isn't it like by mustiness? It's off USA Parkway, so

Dustin Steffey: 7:28

15 minutes away from the Fernley area. And so the city of Fernley inflates and skyrockets their pricing, because we're getting all these people that work for Tesla, and they wiped the miners think that Tesla people were getting these executives that are moving in that are making good money, but the reality is, is we're getting the workers that are trying to live and they're not making as good of money as you would think. Because to run a business, I mean, but watch this to run a business grow and you know, this being a business person to run a business, you have to keep overhead as low as possible. Yeah, yeah. And to keep overhead low, where do you think that they're going to cut costs, so they're gonna take one person so we'll say you for general, we're gonna hire you Oscar, your job is called Production Production associate your job is to sit on that factory line and make sure that you inspect the quality of the battery however, because we're trying to cut costs you're not only going to do that but while you're inspecting it make sure it's packaged right and make sure it works and does this too so you're doing for jobs.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 8:37

Anything else? Yeah, when I was at a I was at Goldstrike don't get me wrong. People were close by at least Mike

Dustin Steffey: 8:46

we're not down talking any businesses this is just that

Oscar Crosthwaite: 8:50

yeah, don't get me wrong they are but dude, I came to a point where one day I was running I was running the fucking pressure and pump house. Yeah, and I like honestly for me I don't care because that's how I you know, you know I am I love running around well,

Dustin Steffey: 9:08

you work your ass off and

Oscar Crosthwaite: 9:11

then the experience or they just don't like moving like that or they're just like, Yeah, fuck you. I can't do that. Like no, you can't you can but no it's like yeah, bro. It's like and that dude honestly like to get to that level. You know where you're doing running two circuits like that dude, it's like

Dustin Steffey: 9:33

well, you took certifications to to get to the

Oscar Crosthwaite: 9:36

top two. Yeah, if you want to move up in any position correct circuit and Jonathan, why did you have to study your ass off? Pass two tests. Which one is like your whatever is calling up free tests or something like they just see where you're at? Yeah, and then it's your final. Right but yeah, like, there's a lot of people. They'll just quit dude. Yeah, sorry. You know what I mean? Like just you Want to get a raise? You have to do? Dirty me wrong. I mean, obviously, it's so you'll know what the fuck you're doing. But I think they rely more on the class than the actual training out in the field. Yeah, it's not the same dude hands on and fucking computer it's not

Dustin Steffey: 10:19

on and watch this. You've known me a long time, you know my background, you know, my education, you know everything cheaper. But at the end of the day for me, I don't like working for the man because there's all these rules and stipulations and hoops and carrots that you're chasing sucks to get the money that you want. Whereas in entrepreneurship, it's equally as hard. And yeah, entrepreneurship is equally as hard. But I'd rather Chase myself and my own dreams to make my money.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 10:49

Yeah. Instead of some someone else's dream. Somebody that's not even there. Yeah, that doesn't know what the pucks doing out there with their business.

Dustin Steffey: 10:57

And we live in America. What was America founded on need? It was founded on entrepreneurship. It was founded on doing what you need to to make it Yeah. And

Oscar Crosthwaite: 11:07

when you say entrepreneurship, it's like, that's how I was raised. That's how I grew up at the end of the day. I mean, when I view the same view, but it kind of is, you were back in the days, you were living off the fucking land. It was all about the effort that you weren't going

Dustin Steffey: 11:20

to Walmart to get going on your garden. Yeah, I mean, for our family.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 11:25

Yeah, you kill a deer, Whatever, dude. And it was about like, that day, you had a cookout where you were going to for that year, and then possibly the next day? Because you would hang on? That's what I used to do.

Dustin Steffey: 11:34

Yeah, you hang the deer just let it bleed out and drag on to you. And you take the meat.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 11:42

What do you like first couple days per se, you can actually use it.

Dustin Steffey: 11:45

So usually, in our minds, right, we let it we let it beat out for a day. Yeah. And then we scan it for another right. And then we bag it or put something over it. So the gnats and the flies aren't Yeah. And then we take the meat and I mean nowadays for us we can put it in a bag for use it and all that but back in the day, you can't freeze that shit. So you're

Oscar Crosthwaite: 12:07

right, dude, I for tone I was what? Three once a three, four years. And I always like to laugh where I live it's awesome. Anyways, do we didn't have electricity? We didn't have a refrigerator. We had a well, bro, we had to throw the bucket in the row. That's right. Yep, yep. Yep. Ranch.

Dustin Steffey: 12:39

That's cowboy stuff, right there. I mean, that's,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 12:41

I mean, doing the wrong side. Like now obviously, it's

Dustin Steffey: 12:48

Yeah, but you know, it changes how we appreciate and see things how you see, just life in general. So that's, that's the whole point of me having right now on today. So like, we're, we're, we're talking about this stuff, right? And everybody that's listening is like so how does this tie to mental health? Well, first and foremost, you're mentally not going to be good if you're trying to light a candle and you can't light a candle and you're trying to figure out how to do let's Yeah, let's let's try to figure that one out. But this is going to tie to mental health because your story is so impactful. And that's what we're going to do to the best of our abilities anyway. We're not going to divulge the nitty gritty but what I would like to do is kind of give you the floor to kind of explain kind of your background a little bit what you want to explain and then we'll tie it into who you are now. So like so what was it like for you growing up

Oscar Crosthwaite: 13:46

so you feel like my previous life I mean in your I grew up in Dearborn Iran's sports and it's all my family is there your telephones are farmers and stuff like that? Yeah. Dude, just from coming from the want to see the canadamark mountains down in Baja, California. And then so you know, I had that life up to that certain age, bro, and then boom, you're off from there. I ended up moving to one of the most beautiful places in the world do to me at least right? Obviously because I grew up there.

Dustin Steffey: 14:27

I think you and I have a same respect for what is beauty. So like, for me, beauty is like being out in the mountains in the desert where the rivers are, where the fish are, where the animals are. That's you.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 14:39

I was, I was fortunate to be raised in the most beautiful place in the world to me, and that was a it's called gaviota California, which is I want to say 20 to 25 minutes north of Santa Barbara, California. And pretty much to the ranch. I grew up on the sides of back there was beautiful spot rolling, you know, rolling hills.

Dustin Steffey: 15:04

Flats already built inside their

Oscar Crosthwaite: 15:07

forests. Yeah. Free forests, right. Yeah. And then the next non overgrown bucket, the beach,

Dustin Steffey: 15:14

so I wasn't I wasn't far off from you. So I lived in Boulder Creek, which is close to Los Gatos area. Yeah, it's up in the redwoods. And it's gorgeous. And then I would drive down to work where the ocean is like, where Capitola is and stuff and so that was God's country, bro. Like I loved all of that. I love living in the mountains and being able to come down to the ocean. Yeah. Bonfires on the beach, bro. Or camping in the redwoods?

Oscar Crosthwaite: 15:42

Right yeah. Or camping on the beach? Yeah, do we can't do that. Wildlife for days. Yes. Mountain lions. Wild? Yep. Yep. shitload of deer. Dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm canceling

Dustin Steffey: 15:55

for me camping on the beach. It was the sharks and whales and solids. Like all that was fun to watch in the red way. ocean fishing it Oh, man. It's like I missed that life. I do not miss the expense of living.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 16:08

It's no you know, it's weird. Because it's like, when you talk about like, mental health and shit like that. Just kind of try to explain, but I went back about a couple months ago, right? Told you Yeah, yeah. And honestly, dude,

Dustin Steffey: 16:20

I saw the pictures that

Oscar Crosthwaite: 16:23

fortunately, I went back to a very one of my buddies that I grew up with.

Dustin Steffey: 16:26

Yeah, you went back for a sad time. But you got to go to 30 Yeah, after what? 15 years. Yeah, actor. Yeah. Anyways, it

Oscar Crosthwaite: 16:33

was like, don't get me wrong, girl. Like, I want to write obviously. Absolutely. But when I went back, dude, honestly, when I was there, it was to me. I felt like I felt fucking beat. Like, I don't know how to explain like, yeah, like I went so. Well. I don't even know why but anyways, yeah, cuz I took some fucking Hawaiian vacation like that anyways,

Dustin Steffey: 16:54

well, it's weird because you don't live there anymore. Right? And it's been 15 years. So all the things that we took for granted,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 17:00

dude, I was at every fucking spot. Yeah, you know, we're yeah, as I grew up,

Dustin Steffey: 17:05

we took that all for granted. And you go back and now it's like, you're you're a tourist. Yeah.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 17:10

So like a week nerdy and I was like, alright, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's awesome. And a little bit to me, it was like, it wasn't real. Like it was But would that be that word? Surreal. Yeah, but

Dustin Steffey: 17:24

it's almost like a facade, bro. So it's like, it's like, really? I lived in this like, I was fear. Like, because I went back to I went back to Capitol or with pay a few years ago, and it was like, I was a tourist. It was like, I didn't belong. Yeah, but at the time I was there I did belong

Oscar Crosthwaite: 17:46

so and then what I mean by like, you know, mentally dude. Yeah, if I took my mom or my sisters back there, bro. Yeah. All the memories. Yeah. Like, which is understandable. But me dude, it was like more of a when I when I remembered all those memories. Obviously. When those memories came back, just every single place that I've ever been where I was visiting it uh, you know, and it makes me sad who more like a like pull dude, I fucking I lived here I was fortunate to live here. I grew up here I did it you know here yep. And I want to say it's like alright cool when when I met my like our synagogue can we get back to health we're into like this because I'm already on a different fucking journey. Yeah, yeah. Different stage in my life. Yep. And just to me it was cool going back because it just remote reminded me of like, how far I come in. And yeah, other should have gone to do Yep. Bro. Growing up in Santa Barbara do the most you know like to me it was just plucked and it was an awesome life. I want to I want to spend sanding as soon as high school. Like I said, just from growing up there. There's all this shit. Obviously, you know, we're going to talk about it. But just all the places and the shit I've done dude is just like,

Dustin Steffey: 19:03

so many. You've touched base on this. So like you grew up in a really decent part of California. Okay, it was it was

Oscar Crosthwaite: 19:12

my good friend of mine data. So talk to him once in a while. Yeah, but uh Alex clay he grew up fucking from what I understand his debt perfected breast implants. Oh, like the product you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fucking like he said Module Two Ferraris? Were specifically for for racing. They came out to Laguna Seca. Yeah, yep. And then he had the that's why I really goes back to the Ferrari 360 Smite. Anyways, due to it was my birthday or senior year. Fucking we're having a big ass party at my buddy's place on Excel. Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yeah, we were at the ranch bro. We had like a four CAGR going on the whole mix seen over here the Ferraris bro. Oh my god. A year old Alex Finn rolls up in the fucking Ferrari 360 Spider fucking rolls out dude. All I hear it was a who? Everybody's seen Oscar fucking I've already you know like already got a visual dude, he's like get into fucking going for a ride anyways we bought takes me on a cruise all over the fucking Valley Santa Barbara last ship, bro. And I don't know if you'd like it's just that's one of the memories right,

Dustin Steffey: 20:31

which is it's awesome. Yeah, but let's let's let's scale back right so we have all this awesomeness but we're in mental health let's let's be realistic here for a second. Yeah, that's not what reality reality is is you have been through some Hell yeah. And we're not going to get into the nitty gritty of the hell you've been through. But what we are going to say is like you've been through stuff that no one should have to go through. And it's actually impacted you. I mean, at first it probably impacted you negatively. Yes. Oh, yeah, but but in the end, the end result that I see now. So the byproduct of you is is I want to have you any other way. I wouldn't have you restart the experiences you went through. It's like we knew I grew up a hard life. I grew up a life where my mother and father shouldn't have been together. Yeah. My dad, my dad was a gambler. My mom didn't work. And so my dad was working two jobs, which are not boohoo in him at all because like, he's the man. So he's the provider, which is what my job is raising pay. But the fact of the matter is, is when two people aren't together, that's already a negative right there. And then with his gambling problem, I mean, I was similar to you, I was taking cold baths, we would boil water, and they would put the boil water in the bathtub, and it would turn cold. But that's how I was taking baths. We had no electricity. Sometimes we've lost a few houses because of my dad's gambling addiction. I mean, it was a negative childhood. And my my mother, unfortunately, I love her. But unfortunately is in this persona. Well, I tried the best I can to raise you guys. Well, it takes two people, a mother and a father to raise children first and foremost. Secondly, she didn't do anything about it. So like, I mean, at the end of the day, it's both of their problem. And I'm not gonna live in this facade. And maybe

Oscar Crosthwaite: 22:32

maybe we can relate like, I want to see. I will do that love.

Dustin Steffey: 22:38

Yeah, I love my mom, too. I believe my

Oscar Crosthwaite: 22:41

mom has always been there for me my dad. Yeah, I fucking hate my dad. Yeah, I

Dustin Steffey: 22:45

hate my dad as well. So

Oscar Crosthwaite: 22:48

yeah, really. So this is the thing though, do like the only thing I can say is that my mom did everything. The best she could read my dad too, as well, I guess we were going along. But at the end of the day, I hadn't learned a lot of what I know now live on your own on my own. And that's me getting out. Talking being in places with the shittiest fucking people in the world. Yep. shittiest places in the world, dude.

Dustin Steffey: 23:12

And like, like I said, we're not going to get into the nitty gritty of it. But to give like a 30,000 foot view, like you're involved in, like, things that normal people shouldn't be involved in like,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 23:24

and then stuff like I could raise in Santa Barbara, like, correct and gnarliest place in the world and then to me, right, but anyways, yeah, and then all of a sudden, like, transitioning into an environment that

Dustin Steffey: 23:37

like the bottom of the barrel. Yeah. Yeah. And not to downplay any of that. It is it is what it is. And you and I can relate because watch this. I know your brothers and sisters. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So I was raising my brother. Because my family my parents couldn't raise us. So whatever they were doing, I was raising my little brother to the best of my ability him and I don't get along very well, but we kind of like it was bad. So when I turned 18 Because I learned all my stuff on my own. Yeah,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 24:14

I was out. So I get what you're saying bro, because like at the end of the day comes down to like, both of my sisters bro. Like my so here's here's how it is like my middle sister. I gotta talk to her like Hey. Yeah, my younger sister. I'm like, What the fuck you know show like that. You know, we're different. Yeah, but you know what I mean? I got to talk to him differently. Yeah, the youngest one she's more like, like my you know, like the school that I tried to fill. Yeah, the other one she's more because we've all gone to shit right. So yeah, I got a different way.

Dustin Steffey: 24:49

When that that's how it is even in our workforce today to in our workforce today. Like even you and I like you and I are similar. So we talk the same to each other. Yeah, but when we're in the workplace or anywhere like you and I have to adjust how we talk. We can't, we can't be us because people weren't raised like us. Right? And so you have to understand people's social styles. Yeah, they're like, I didn't go through that, like, so for years. Like, I wasn't enough. For me, I was there. Like, I don't have a PhD or. Yeah, like, I mean, I'm not frowning upon any of it. Because like I said, at the beginning of this, and I'll stand true to it, like I wouldn't have any other friend is my friend, like as far as like what you and I have been through? Like, yeah, we've been through so much. Yeah, just like, This is why we relate. But the importance of this, and where we are now all ties to mental health, because I could have taken a different path and so could have you. So I could have taken the path where I fell into the trap of, well, I watched my dad, my mom for the better part of a decade. I should gamble too. And maybe I'll make it maybe I won't, whatever. I was being beat. I have a daughter. So maybe I should, you know, and I'm not condoning this. This isn't something that I say I am doing. But this is like the path I could have. I could have beat Peyton. I could be a horrible father. Scene. Yeah. But I broke the mold. Like there was a mold that had to be broken. And it was a mentally, like, tough on the brain.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 26:22

So what I learned was, at least you know, just one of my rules in life was don't do. I mean, not in that general sense. But yes, like, for me, I don't know why it just embedded on day and I was like, Don't do what everybody else is doing fucking do something different, or whatever it is that they don't like to do fucking do it. And that's always gonna keep you. I want to say like, now one step ahead. But at least

Dustin Steffey: 26:48

know that's a good general rule of thumb We're in. We're in a non an economy, but we're in a nation now where there's a whole shit ton of tea. And not a lot of people that are chiefs or ervoor stirred? Yeah. And we'd have to break that, like, I mean, look at how our kids are being raised right now to like, we talk about mental health. Is it mentally normal for your child to live at home at the age of like, 30, or 40? With you? Like, if I did that I would get my butt naked?

Oscar Crosthwaite: 27:21

Yeah, that's debatable, because nowadays, that's normal.

Dustin Steffey: 27:24

But it's not at the that's how does your kid supposed to thrive, have a life and be out on their own your job as a parent, is to raise your child to be able to survive, like back in the olden days, right? Like the chiefs would raise the kids to how to hunt and fish and all that. So that way when they were abused, they can do it on their own and provide for their tribe or their family. That's it.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 27:50

Yeah, it's just we're not it sounds like them. You know? And we know a couple people that are like, we do. Yes, like, obviously, because we're, I mean, we are your asshole. We are. We are we worried the banners, right? Yeah, obviously, we also have an AED. Correct. Everybody who breathes the same, correct, but it is, I want to see it can be very frustrating when you're around somebody that's just like, has no fucking clue what to

Dustin Steffey: 28:19

do. So I view this world right now, like, so they're the hardworking people that are trying to pave their own paths. So that's you and I, yeah, there are people that are the type of people that walk all over people and take advantage of them. There are people that are entitled, and they're entitled, because they were raised with the golden spoon where you and I were raised with like, coals, we had to make our spoon like a prison chenko Most likely, we had to figure it out. And so like, it's it's important as we discuss mental health, and we're going to be discussing a lot of it, we're gonna have more than just these episodes, but as we discuss it, to understand the three lessons that have come out of this, so far less than one is, if you want something to change, you have to go after the change and break the mold, which you and I have.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 29:11

You have to Yes. So that my rule, like it's related to that is I'm always aware that humans are humans, bro. They like to be in their comfort zone. They do not like change. I've noticed that yes, I don't like it either. I don't, but I do. I used to. I used to fear change so bad and so much. And now it's, it's come to the point where I've had I mean, I've made a few changes in my life. Throughout the years. That was for other people wrote a show, you know, they would never ever have fucking taken that one, you know that step to doing it. But to me, I fucking did it. And other people asked me they're like, why? How come it's so easy for you? And I'm like, it's not what I do. Yeah, so

Dustin Steffey: 29:58

it's a facade. So P We'll put on a Friday, so you don't see what's really going on on the inside. I'm super proud of you. Because you've gone from bougie lifestyle, to bottom of the barrel, to bringing yourself and picking yourself back up to land as a fucking good man, to working in the mines, to now you're using your head and you're mentally in a job that's mentally, like, challenging you and you're doing it

Oscar Crosthwaite: 30:25

and you know what, like? Because I guess there's a once in a different environment, obviously. Yeah. So what helped me kind of tackle this challenge, in a sense, especially being able to find videos like so one of the things that keeps me going, it's like, when I when, you know, I come down to that one lucky moment. And I'm like, I kind of I forget a lot, but then I remember I'm like, bro, you've done fucking weighing earlier. This that you had to use your fucking brain. And at that point, I was playing like, seconds you have fucking running down yet. But yeah, I just I, you know, that's what I try to motivate myself, bro. That's one of the things I'm just I do that the same.

Dustin Steffey: 31:11

So that brings me to the second lesson learned so far today, which is you have to be motivated to change. Change is hard change is uncomfortable. However, you have to be motivated to move forward. Because the minute you lose that motivation. Yeah, that's the minute that you will not move forward. You're stuck. Yeah, you were

Oscar Crosthwaite: 31:34

stuck. And yeah, I did your your thought pretty nice. It took me when I fuck myself like that, dude, it took me fucking three, almost four years to finally transition out of it. Yeah, I finally did. And it just sucks. You know what also ignites the fire that to me, I know for a fact that's all wasted time was three, four years. And I've said it just Yeah, that's what I always say. Obviously, like somebody wants to do that time, you're not going to get it back, or what you do. But so

Dustin Steffey: 32:05

that's something that we've talked about in the past, not just you and I but I've talked about on the podcast is the only currency that we cannot buy in life is time. Time is constantly going. And it's what you make of it, which you and I, like we come from different makes, but we're the same make at the same time. Like there's a lot of time that I've lost. But I've also tried to, like make the best of my time. I mean, on my right arm, I have an hourglass, it's broken. Because time is so important. Now I got this tattoo because I was upset with a female, which you know who I'm talking about. But I was upset with her because like, she wasn't making time for what was important. And I was right. And so like, it dawned on me that like, people have different definitions of time. People have different variations on how they use their time. And we have a mutual friend that like, says they're always busy. But really, they're not managing their time appropriately to be able to like, make the time for what's important. Like I understand that it's important to do certain things and you have certain responsibilities. You and I both have them. Yeah, but we've always like you and I at least have always made time. Like for what we need to do. Yeah, definitely. And then most importantly, made time for the fun things in life too. Because if you're not having any fun then why are you living and you are not less than pretty hardcore to like that. That's another thing so mentally for you. Let's To recap, mentally. You went from bougie to bottom to back up again. And now the you know, you went from bougie because remember bougie first, then bottom, then upper middle and bottom again. And then you are who you are now and the biggest thing that I like about your life and what you do is you care about what others think because it's not important what others think you care about what makes you happy. Yes. And if you're happy then you're able to kind of be contagious with that live that life and hopefully it bleeds through to the people you surround yourself with. Which leads me to Lesson three surround yourself with the right people

Oscar Crosthwaite: 34:28

you see me when I say so we're that's one of my favorite lines to summary was in vino veritas yeah yeah. Without the the wine yep, yep. Right you see me when I'm fucking usually when I'm running out oh my goodness but

Dustin Steffey: 34:50

no, but when really? I really I really see who I really am. Yes. Which is okay like well cuz you bury it because you've been through so much like and I If you don't bury it for me because I know what you've been through, but you bury it from others and this is, this is something that other people turn to. So I'm not saying that you turned to alcohol as an outlet, but there are people that listen that do turn to alcohol as an outlet, and we're not condoning that. What we are condoning is the fact that move forward. Surround yourself with good people because

Oscar Crosthwaite: 35:21

it's a Yeah, like me like, you know me, bro. I'm fucking working out. Oh, yeah, dude, I'm like your focus be solitude. You

Dustin Steffey: 35:29

know, I'm just like, yeah, you have when you have an agenda, what you like, that's what we're doing. But

Oscar Crosthwaite: 35:35

when I have those dreams, I want to say I have that have that motivation. But once it's a little more open up room. I'm saying,

Dustin Steffey: 35:46

like, all this stuff that you've been hiding present boils like a volcano. But I don't just hope even when I'm drunk. I'm not gonna say no. Because that's not who you are. So you still are mindful that no anyway. Oh, yeah, I'm not. That's when you're around people that you really know. So like me? Yeah. Like, you don't filter it like, at all, but that's because I know.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 36:07

Yeah. And then you just brought it up. Like we had a couple buddies that I think I've said this. Yeah, I raised it. Correct. But yep. Yeah, really? No, I even like we're out and about bro. Somebody something they were just like, really? You

Dustin Steffey: 36:21

and I have you're gonna tell me? Yeah, you're

Oscar Crosthwaite: 36:24

me. You're gonna tell me that.

Dustin Steffey: 36:27

They fucked that's because you and I have similarities, though. Like our similarities are the same. So like, a good example is our vehicles Right? Like, I didn't buy a frickin truck to have it drive on the highway and clean and polished all the time. Like you're a farm and did your trucks always gonna be dirty? For me? I'm hunting fishing. I love the back roads. So my trucks always dirty. And and it is what it is. And

Oscar Crosthwaite: 36:53

it's it's nice. It's well, I mean, what I want to see is that so like your name, right?

Dustin Steffey: 37:00

Yeah, when we got your truck like seven months ago,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 37:03

rather than like, it was like probably like a month in. Yeah, like, in my mind. Anyways, in the next year, we're gonna walk out my biggest fucking dem aside some white. You know, most people grow up, you know? Yeah, it's like the end of the world. Like me, it's not good enough.

Dustin Steffey: 37:25

No, it's not good. And I know you better like

Oscar Crosthwaite: 37:30

yeah, okay.

Dustin Steffey: 37:32

Now my trucks. Now it's at now it's it works. Yep, yep. I'm not gonna lie. Like if I walked out and saw my truck, like with a day now I freak the hell out for sure. But at the same time, it is what it is like, can I get it fixed? Or I'll get it fixed. Yeah, no. Yeah, like, I don't know, keeping the lights on and the roof over your head.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 38:00

So I guess like what I'm really blessed are kind of a lot of the things that but people are people that I know. We're both most people admittedly, but just like I received her now. Yeah, he were freaking out

Dustin Steffey: 38:29

if you had one really solid piece of advice, like out of the wisdom that you have with respect to mental health with respect to if someone's listening that really needs help, because I'm pretty certain I'm we're touching people right now. What would that piece of advice be?

Oscar Crosthwaite: 38:48

It's not the end of the road. Especially when you think it is like, because I've been there and I honestly like I thought about

Dustin Steffey: 38:56

you thought about some feet fatal.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 38:59

Yeah. But life changes and then it goes on to the and like, I can't say something easy like I can't just say like Bolsover. I honestly do. The only thing you can do is just going and the way I found it was by finding what would actually make me feel alive and ignite. Because, you know, you've been, you know, this like, I have computer and video for a few years. Yep. And

Dustin Steffey: 39:38

that makes you feel alive

Oscar Crosthwaite: 39:39

for sure. Yeah, buddy. Good point, brother. I was like my last bull riding. It was like, I was in the shoe bros. Oh, my bowl is getting ready, you know, but it was like, I wasn't a wave. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't there anymore.

Dustin Steffey: 39:53

So you you were saying like life life moves on you were competing in rodeo, right? And so you You lost that euphoric state that you were in? Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't the adrenaline was gone. There was no euphoric state it no more like, that's when you knew

Oscar Crosthwaite: 40:08

die after that rose like, I mean, it can be the simplest should just try to like, take the whole No, no, you know, to me it was like I started writing bowling. I mean, I was already doing this stuff, but I got I started getting more into CrossFit. I started snowboarding more I started surfing more okay, I started riding horses more sir training I love and I worked on a cow ran so the Cowboys are there. Yeah. Yeah. It's just gonna find something's gonna make you feel alive, bro. And it's hard because whatever it is that you open sight. It's hard to get rid of dude, but I want to say what helped me bro. Besides the fact that I started pursuing other things to make me feel alive was uh, I got fucking tired of feeling like fit. Yeah, I got tired in the sense where? Yeah, like, I just I was older or like, yeah, I got fed up. I'm fed up. Feeling like or being like this. No. Smoking every day fucking drinking every day. No. Drugs, all that bullshit, bro. You grew up, dude. Yeah, I just I finally finally realized that. For one you know, don't waste your time on people that don't deserve it to buck in. Yeah, just find your fucking river. Whether it was your passion can only last so long that it died out as well.

Dustin Steffey: 41:37

That time part is important because a number of times you can't.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 41:41

Everybody. And it's weird because from what 37 do like, Yeah, I'm your old been engaged twice. talking, you know, like, I look at other friends and family run. It's like there's just a lot of people say luck, bro. Unbelievable. Destiny. I believe.

Dustin Steffey: 42:02

I do too. I believe in us into a certain life and that Salya I believe in destiny though, too. I mean, you know that I've had a rough couple years because there's someone that I want in my life and I

Oscar Crosthwaite: 42:17

yeah, that's how I you know, I've been there too. Yeah, you can't base your happiness, happiness off somebody else. Like, I tried that and it sucks because I hardly Yeah, and that's when I was just like, that's where that came in. was uh that's what I learned was Don't waste your time. Like don't deserve it. Don't base your worthiness of somebody else. Yep, your happiness at that. It's like Dude, if I want to give up when those times are going down, especially when those people are making me feel like that. I honestly wouldn't have done the shit that I've done. where I'm at now. Right? I'm not saying

Dustin Steffey: 42:56

it's I mean I'm like I said in the beginning like I like where you are now like you're you're an awesome dude anyone that would have you in their life is lucky because of not only the experiences that you've been through and the wise like knowledge that you have but because of who you are because at the end of the day who you are to me anyway yeah. Is your good human being that has been through the ups that I have and others and you know what like we go on

Oscar Crosthwaite: 43:29

I mean changes

Dustin Steffey: 43:33

it's inevitable Yeah.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 43:37

But yeah, that's like it all it all it's all it's all on you on how you want it to affect you. If you're that weak minded story, like oh my god, it's so dreadful like yeah, like me I'm just going to tell you like studying a baseball like if you're gonna hang out with me like fucking TRESemme I'm still

Dustin Steffey: 43:54

that's why you're such a good person to have at least in my corner anyway to is because you're not gonna allow the people that you surround yourself with to fall into that

Oscar Crosthwaite: 44:05

hole No, I can't like me and that's how I was raised like yeah help people in there he regardless like even a lot of people I've been around him like I've been around some interesting people. I've been around people that they're just fucking extraordinary. They're different. And but they're the type of people that are around the middle of the fucking forest during the winter. And we break down and let's say like, year goes on whatever dude. Yeah, that you don't have a jacket on like, I have a shirt on. They have their jacket on those people. Those people telling me humbleness. I had it in me, but I didn't know. I didn't have enough experience with it. They're the type of people that will take your jacket off and give it to you just to make sure that okay,

Dustin Steffey: 44:53

so is it safe to assume especially with mental health and everything not? It is what you make of it. cuz remember, we're we live in an age now where we have doctors that are on call via your phone. That's fucking I think all of that stuff like, everything's readily available. But the point I'm trying to make is these doctors. They're just prescribing a pill to

Oscar Crosthwaite: 45:15

fix I do and I swear to god mentally, so I'm lost. And I'm lucky because whether it's addiction or just anything in general, I've always found a way to bucket me depending on the type of person that per se like, do we smoke cigarettes? Yeah, I'm gonna type in person that from one day to another girl, you don't want

Dustin Steffey: 45:34

this. So not everybody is like you and you have to realize a lot of

Oscar Crosthwaite: 45:38

people bro that I used to know that I thought they were like, fuck around. And next scene over like, show like just that little fucking example, bro. From one day to the next. I was like, You know what? I'm just smoking cigarettes, and I never smoked again.

Dustin Steffey: 45:52

You're gonna You're an anomaly though.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 45:55

People grow the clock and see the same thing. And a week later, they're back. They're doing it again.

Dustin Steffey: 46:00

So it is all about who are the willpower and all of that. Like, I'm not saying that there are not more will like

Oscar Crosthwaite: 46:08

a buddy of mine. Neither. Like I wish I had the will you have and my buddy fucking voting you? More ways? Yeah, just always when he told me that he was like, Dude, I wish I was as strong as you are. At that time. I get a phone call. Yeah. For him to tell me that he was like, you know, I You said it's about the people you surround yourself to do deals are under so fucking despair. Exactly. People that are gonna make you still feel the way you do. Yep. A lot of that. Like, because I was at that point, too. And one of like my cousin, one of my cousins, he. I still see to this day who was because of him the I got my pet out of my ass. Yep. You fucking you know what I mean? Like he Yeah, pretty much open my eyes. And I still talk to him to like once in a while, or he'll call them but the things to him that I am where I'm at now, dude. Because if I would have stayed where I was at noon, yeah, whatever made it out.

Dustin Steffey: 47:11

You're not the only person to bring that up. So last week, we interviewed Chris, which is a friend of ours as well, too. Yeah. He made it big in the music industry at the age of like 19. But he was he was a music producer. And he battled addiction. Because there was lots of drugs. The clients wanted drugs. He was doing drugs with them all that stuff. To make a long story short, he said something similar to you. He took a retreat to his brother's like place where he has nieces and nephews. They pulled him out from the ashes, and helped him to realize like, I need to make change.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 47:49

I don't have kids. No, but you know, yeah, exactly.

Dustin Steffey: 47:55

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 47:58

I don't know. I don't really like, I don't try to pursue that sense to where like, I want them to have.

Dustin Steffey: 48:08

It isn't about a role model. It's about seeing the innocence that they once had.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 48:14

Yeah. You know, I just don't remember like a lot of people see should deter me to like, yeah, even me like the way I live. Now, this is probably gonna die like this year, I don't do anything, right. If it happens soon, I will be blessed. And if it doesn't, I'll be a piece of the to like, if I ever get married and have kids will be blessed. If it doesn't happen to be a piece of it.

Dustin Steffey: 48:38

I mean, I'm not going to be the one that everyone is and says, Well, the right one will show up there someone because I'm not gonna say that because I don't believe in that myself. I don't believe in the right one showing up I believe in if you want to pursue someone you go after it

Oscar Crosthwaite: 48:52

is just like anything. Yeah, there's an object or person, right? Correct career, anything in general. It's like, he really wanted to get up and go out and get it. But it's like, so let's, let's recap this. Because this, you gotta be aware of what's happening all time, too. Absolutely. It's hard.

Dustin Steffey: 49:10

So let's read let's recap, because there were some key lessons out of this that I want to make sure we summarize for everybody to kind of, you know, have So to recap, the first thing that we started with is time is a currency that we can't buy. And so it's still buying, correct. And so with time not being able to be bought, what we need to do is make sure we make the best of time. Number one, yeah. Number two, willpower, willpower willpower, you need to be willing to change. If you have no willingness to change, you're never going to change. But if you're willing to make small adjustments, and I'm not saying like an overnight thing, but willing to get to where you want to be by making small tweaks, yeah, then you're doing all right. As far as mental right? The third thing, do things that you love to do. Now, this does not include drugs or alcohol, but it includes passions that lead you to that end result that you want to be at. Yeah, exactly. And then the fourth thing and I think the most important thing out of the whole entire conversation is surround yourself with people that aren't always,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 50:21

you know, like, I learned that from other people, you know, listen to other

Dustin Steffey: 50:26

high value people is what we call you surround yourself by high value people

Oscar Crosthwaite: 50:29

that are gonna make a change in your life. correct attitude, your current, your way of how you carry yourself everything do like people do better. Yeah, I think carrying yourself. It's not something that you practice, bro. It's gonna eventually one day like from walking a certain way. You're gonna be walking different. Like, Oh, yeah.

Dustin Steffey: 50:52

So if we, if we take those four lessons like this is this is good. This is good stuff to kind of put in your toolbox. I

Oscar Crosthwaite: 51:01

I think it just realized it's not easy. No, but it's doable. I've done ever what is that repetitiveness? Resilience, I love to use consistency. I don't

Dustin Steffey: 51:15

know. I think it's being resilient. So like, knowing that it's not going to zero and you could fail, but you just keep going. So being resilient. I think there is some form of consistency to it. Be consistent in what you want.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 51:30

Well, that's gonna I don't think you should be paid 10. Well, yeah, pay 10. No, you need to pay attention. Yeah, but not externally. No, you're you're good to be there's one thing thinking about consistency every day and seeing it but it's another thing that you're rolling. And then all sudden, you're like, I'm in you don't I mean? Like

Dustin Steffey: 51:52

you're an actions person, brother, you always have been actions speak louder than words like you don't have to be timing yourself. You don't have to look at the consistency. There are some people that will need that. Like you and I are anomalies. Remember? So like, Yes, I agree with you in that sense. The last thing is, is just keep doing you at the end of the day, people don't dictate who you are, you dictate who you are. And these are all hard lessons that you learned. I know we didn't get into your like, deep, dark secret story, but like, you've come from some bad shit. And now you are who you are today.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 52:26

A lot of good has to correct. I got to know a lot of people. Yep. Meet a lot of people. Oh, yeah. People that uh, you know, they live on your side of the fucking nation right now. Some one couple around the world. But yeah, I still keep in touch. And to me do that of all the shit that I've gone through illicit that I've done at the end of the day like me. That's what, that's what I mean, that's what that's what makes me feel good is that all those people I put in? I surround myself throughout life or in a long way. You know, and I still have contact with dude, I just kid from I'm gonna have to June anyways, he fucking he got a scholarship girlfriend football to play at. I think it's East Illinois. He's like, Yeah, but I was like, no, no, there's no but Elsa. Yeah, like, dude. All I told him was and this is just like, just shit that I've experienced along the way. It's almost like Dude, this is what you want to do. Right? Like, yeah, like check it out. Don't be the Monday to fucking Friday guy. Go Monday to Sunday. I'm not saying to yours. Never. Monday to Friday, but go Monday to Sunday. Do what others don't want to do and I shouldn't deny you'll always be a button step ahead. Yep. And and I told him I watched there's gonna be do that or Monday to Friday the weekend or whatever. They're going to be party they've got a dorm party bucking sororities all that shit. Like that's fine. Brah I totally I'm not telling you not to do that. Do it. I want you to do experience of broke into living I mean, yep. But Sunday comes or Saturday. whatever day it doesn't matter if you go in there for 20 minutes. 30 minutes. As long as you go in there you do something. I cheated on bro. It's gonna work out well, you'll be recognized to the this kid. He comes back. I saw him a couple weeks ago. And this is like, I don't even know this fucking name, bro. We just know each other by like, Hey, what's up dude? What's up, man? Yeah, fucking dude. He comes up to me, bro. And dude, he's talking now He's like, he's yo. Yeah, he's not he's like, a badass program out there. Nice. Anyways, this fucking city comes up to me and I was working with a buddy of mine next, you know, he comes up and I'm just like, oh shit, dude. What's up, man? He's like, Hey, man. And this is what really got videos like I just want to say hi real quick. And I just want to let you know that I'm fucking do Going in, and I got my first ring. I was like, Oh, that's

Dustin Steffey: 55:03

awesome. I didn't show the room and I was like, that's still I don't know if I wanna cry. That's the impact of words like this is what we're talking about the impact of just moving forward. And yeah, I know a little bit about what you said especially to him because like Dante, my buddy that I've had on Yeah, he went to play professional football after graduating from er. So for the Bengals are known as, like, Dante nine, keep up and Dante like, put in the word like it took hard work, and he wasn't going to get a scholarship for football, because football was the furthest from his mind in high school, got the football scholarship, right and played a position he never knew. Yeah, and ended up to make it in the NFL. Like, I mean, me. And that's, that's been tenacious about, like, just bettering yourself and the best that you can eat and what your current role is. Yeah. So Well, I appreciate you and your story and helping with kind of our mental health journey. Real quick. Is there a charity that you like that you've donated to or something that you're fond of? We don't need to I mean, we donate to different charities but we try to give our people that we interview the opportunity and

Oscar Crosthwaite: 56:19

I the only thing I have a Why am I can't remember the foundation

Dustin Steffey: 56:28

does have to do a wildlife.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 56:30

i Yeah. Yeah, you're everywhere. If I you know, if I had the money for one, it'd be like a dog shelter. Okay, okay. Yeah. Maybe like SPCA stuff like that? Yeah. Even uh, you know, because I sort of horses too. So. Yeah, like the lasting foundation. Okay. And I've been blessed to have been surrounded by a lot of these people. They helped me keep, they helped me stay motivated. And, you know, when I thought that, because I was always going on rolling in the next, you know, like, I thought I was about to like, go down again. Yep. And those people they saw that I was surrounded by, they got my head. And I asked again, and they just remind me like, I don't see myself with it. Yeah, but tell them they're like, Dude, you're a badass. And I'm just like, you don't want to trade right? Like, yeah, like, oh, no, I just took it like, you're right. Yeah, like, I mean. Yeah, why am I crying? Anyways, a lot of them. Were ex military there. They were military at the time. A lot of them are Halibel. Okay, but

Dustin Steffey: 57:42

so maybe I don't I didn't. Veteran Yeah, like,

Oscar Crosthwaite: 57:45

what that foundation is for like people. Because PTSD doesn't just exist for like war veterans. You have an athlete's right. Yep.

Dustin Steffey: 57:56

So yeah, let's so for Oscar, he's very big in the animals. So any animal charity, specifically related to the shelters and then military guidelines, PTSD? Yeah, like. And then Jaden usually does this. But since we don't have Jaden here, our home charity that we donate to is the CFF foundation. So that cystic fibrosis, basically, it's a disease that doesn't impact very many people, and it makes it super hard to breathe. So imagine breathing through a straw. Yeah. And so it really impacts life. Jameson's mom like their lungs. Yeah, so Jason's mom has CFF and so it's been a very big foundation for us. Or what is it? Um, I can't really speak on if it's a cat. I think it's just a Disney. Yeah, it makes it where you can't breathe really? Well. You have to be like, no, no, Jaden is mom's on this special medicine right now. So she has 70% of her lung capacity, but she didn't have that all the time. So with the research and the development, she's able to go on walks now and do things and so like, that is our charity. So for our listeners, yeah.

Oscar Crosthwaite: 59:11

Just last week for a buddy of mine. He saved these people from his accident, his truck tiptoe anyway. Yeah, and upon saving this person and pulling them out of the truck before the popping the smell or whatever, though. Yeah, so what is it like sort of spread fumes or? Yeah, the fumes if I can pull his personnel bro threw in the fucking truck. And before he got into the truck, he took a deep breath. Yep. And if he inhaled the fume groan at fucking burn one of his Lou better off I mean it's probably has nothing to do with no virus but no that's like, I wouldn't want to have

Dustin Steffey: 59:50

yes no so so charities for this episode. Let's go with any animal shelter charities. Let's go with PTSD, bad Friends and then of course, our house charity CFF. Thank you to our listeners who have raised over $2,000 for the CFF foundation so far, let's continue that trend, please go to our patreon@www.patreon.com forward slash chopping wood fire. In the next couple of weeks voting is going to open up for the People's Choice Awards. We are excited to be nominated for those. And we need to rally the troops to vote for us so we can walk that carpet in LA and have some fun. So thank you for everything Oscar, thank you to our listeners jaded, I hope Yeah, Jaden, you're having fun on vacation because we did this without you. But we love you brother. We look forward to having you back next week. And let's all go out and practice what we preach and we will talk a little bit later. Low chop nation. Are you still buying paper business cards? Are you wondering if those business cards are thrown in the trash or actually utilized for your contact information? Well look no further because traveling with fire has a solution. We partner with poeple the modern day business card. Apo allows for you to take your contact information and integrate it into an NFC Card or band that you can wear on your wrist and easily share your contact information to anybody cellular device. Once they have your contact information, you're able to go into the pop up and manage your contacts and be able to see who's downloaded your contact information and ensure that everybody's received the information that they need to from your site. pabo also allows you to be able to customize the platform to have anything that you need and anything to share to your contacts. If you're ready to take the jump to the next level and join poeple please click on the link below in our podcast information to enjoy 25% off of poeple take the plunge and join popple with the 1000s of others that have ditched their paper business Cards.